I’m Kayla, and yes, I’m that friend who will try the weird stuff and report back. Long-distance dating felt weird to me. I like coffee dates, not time zones. But I travel for work, and I kept meeting the same folks in my city. So I turned on OkCupid’s “Global” setting and gave it a real shot.
(If you want to see what else is out there besides OkCupid, check out this list of sites for long-distance relationships—it’s an eye-opener.)
I’ve done things like build a male Tinder profile for 30 days just to see what actually worked, and I wrote about that adventure here.
You know what? It surprised me. In good ways and in messy ways.
How I set it up (super simple)
- I switched the distance to “anywhere.”
- I updated my bio to say, “Open to long-distance if we vibe.”
- I answered a bunch of match questions. I picked dealbreakers too. (I care about kindness, and pets. Big ones.)
- I used the built-in video chat. I like that it stays in the app.
Quick note: Seeing who liked me was behind a paywall. I did a one-month premium trial. Not a dealbreaker, but it’s there.
First match that stuck: Marco from Lisbon
Real story. I live near Chicago. He lives in Lisbon. The time difference is six hours. We matched on a Sunday night. He sent the first message: “Coffee or tea?” Very normal. I liked that.
We moved to video after a week. I was nervous. I had on my soft blue hoodie. He wore a bright scarf. We joked about my messy plants. He teased that my basil looked “tired.” It did.
We set a rhythm:
- Wednesday call, 9 pm my time, 3 am his time (wild, I know)
- Sunday brunch call with our own pancakes
- We watched the same show, one episode per call. We picked “Nailed It.” Low stakes. Lots of laughing.
We even cooked the same pasta one night. He sent me his family recipe. I burned the garlic. Twice. He didn’t judge. That helped.
Did it last? For four months, yes. We planned a spring trip, but he had a visa delay. We hit a pause. It hurt. Not a crash, more like a slow fade. We still send dog pics sometimes. I’ll take that.
What actually worked for me
- The questions: OkCupid’s questions helped skip small talk. We talked values fast. Saved time. Saved heart, too.
- Video dates: I thought I’d hate them. I didn’t. When the app didn’t lag, it felt warm and easy.
- Global setting: I met people I’d never meet near me. Different stories. Different food tips. It felt bigger.
- Pace: Long-distance made me talk, not rush. We built trust first. I liked that. A lot.
I also realized that being open to long-distance naturally widened the age range of people I considered. Curious about connecting with someone who’s got a few more life stories under her belt? Check out this community of adventurous older women who welcome conversations that are honest, flirty, and unhurried—scrolling their profiles can show you how confidence and experience translate into refreshingly direct dating vibes.
What bugged me (because nothing’s perfect)
- Time zones: Someone is always sleepy. Always. You learn to forgive yawns.
- Likes paywall: Seeing who liked me needed premium. I paid one month. I didn’t love that part.
- Slow feed at weird hours: My “new matches” often popped up late at night. Not helpful on work days.
- A few fake profiles: Not many, but there were some. I reported them. The app removed them fast.
By the way, if subscriptions give you hives, this free option leads to some of the best connections according to another deep-dive review.
Side note: My Wi-Fi is old. If our call lagged, I blamed the app first. But it was my router. I fixed it, and the calls got smooth.
Another try: Tash from Melbourne
This one didn’t stick, but I learned a lot. We matched during my busy season. She worked nights at a hospital. Our calls were 6 am for me, which made me cranky. We tried voice notes. Cute, but I kept replying late. We fizzled after three weeks. No drama. Just life.
I still think about her laugh. Big and bright. That’s the thing with long-distance: the person can feel close, but the clock feels far.
Tiny tricks that helped me stay sane
- Keep calls short and sweet (30–45 minutes beats two hours).
- Set a “real plan” by week two. A meet date, even a rough one.
- Show your space on video. It makes it feel real. A plant, a mug, your rainy window.
- Say what you want, early. “I’m open to long-term” or “I just want steady fun chats.”
- Don’t stack three long-distance matches at once. Your brain will melt.
Who this is good for
- You travel a lot or live in a small dating pool.
In fact, niche experiences can teach you a ton—if you want a fresh take, read this first-person story about how dating apps land for little people right here. - You like talking first and meeting second.
- You can handle a little waiting, and a little risk.
Who might hate it
- You need touch and local plans right away.
- You get stressed by late calls or delayed trips.
- You want fast results more than deep talks.
My quick pros and cons
Pros:
- Real talk fast
- Video chat in-app
- Global reach, friendly vibe
Cons:
- Time zones are rough
- Paywall for “likes” view
- A few fakes slip through
Final take
I went from “No way” to “Actually, yes.” OkCupid made long-distance feel possible. Not easy, but possible. It gave me real people with real stories. It gave me pasta fails and soft smiles on a screen. If you want the blow-by-blow of my four-month saga, I spilled the full tea over on Like Button. And hey, when a match makes you grin at your phone, smash that like button just as quickly as you’d swipe right.
Would I keep using it? Yes. I’m giving it 4 out of 5. If you have patience, a charger, and a good hoodie, it’s worth a try.
One more thing: Make your first video date simple. Five questions. One snack. A clean-ish corner. If it clicks, you’ll know. If it doesn’t, you’ll know that too—and you’ll be okay.